The mute button...

I think that I have finally found a way to make the voices in my head to be quiet. My whole life as I can remember it I have always seem myself as overweight. When I look at pictures of me before kids I looked good...but didn't know it. As my awesome children have came into this world...I have focused my attention on them and put myself second..third..etc. As much as I try to hide from scales and mirrors...eventually you realize that you can't hide the fact that you are overweight..and well, fat. As I am approaching five years of being a parent next week, I realize that I as a person have developed a lot and I am beautiful on the inside..it is just my outside that doesn't match. As I sure you have heard me talk recently, 6 weeks ago, Kenny and I decided enough was enough. We want to be more healthy and be around for a long time. As of today Kenny and I have lost a total of 30 lbs. (15 each). That is three 10 lb bags of potatoes! I haven't eaten fried food in 6 weeks PEOPLE!! That is totally a record for me..since I love fresh hot fries with lots of salt. But the few minutes on the lips is totally NOT worth it. There is nothing worse than the voices in your head (and aren't we our worse critics) constantly accusing you that you are fat and then just feeling sad about that and doing nothing. There is nothing more empowering to me than hitting the pavement and just me, (no husband or kids..sometimes the dog) running until I can't breathe. The voices in my head don't have much to say anymore because I am making the changes that I needed to make. My husband keeps looking at me and saying what a difference he can see in me...and that feels really good.

As I look back on 2009, I will remember Avery's 5th birthday party as one of the best days of the year. It wasn't that the clothes I chose to wear that day showed off my newly lost weight (because that isn't the case), or that I had a good hair day (certainly not since I didn't get a shower that morning due to having to tie up some details on the slideshow and left at 7am) or because I won a million dollars that day...it was completely because of the friends and family that were there to celebrate Avery's birthday. I think moving away made me appreciate even more my roots. I felt warm and fuzzy for days after her party. Thank you too all of you that joined me in celebrating Avery on that beautiful Saturday afternoon. It was by far her best party yet.

Within the next couple of weeks we will be renewing our lease on our apartment. Kenny and I agreed today that this certainly wasn't in our 'master plan'. We live in a really nice apt with great amenities..but we would love to be in a house again. With all of the baby stuff around we sometimes feel like we have to tiptoe around to get from one room to another. But when you look at things with perspective you realize that a house really isn't everything..what is important to us is that we are living our dream together. Kenny has a passion for studying and teaching...and he is going to DTS to be trained in what he is passionate about. Sitting in his Sunday School class week after week I am more and more surprised at just how knowledgeable he is. I am constantly blown away by him. So I guess living in an apt on a budget is just the price you pay for living your dream. Being comfortable in a great house going to the same job that you aren't passionate about is just not living. I am looking forward to getting back to work soon and getting that house in June '10. (which will be here before you know it)

Here are some snapshots from our family over the last few weeks.












These are pics from Avery's Birthday party, Her AWANA graduation, and Saturday's picnic and getting exercise on the walking trails at Keller-Smithfield park.

It's May, and I have a lot to say!

Dear Loyal Blog Readers,

SO sorry that I haven't been updating this as i should. I will start with the most recent things and work my way backwards.

The Biggest Winners:
Kenny and I have changed our eating and exercising lifestyle recently. I have battled my weight my whole life, but Kenny has an amazing metabolism and has never really had to diet. I love my 2 kids but they have totally messed up my body. About 6 months after Avery was born my thyroid stopped working, so I will be on Synthroid for the rest of my life. Sometimes the dosage is off and I gain weight very, very easily because it slows down my entire metabolism. This happened again in late January and I put on 10 lbs in no time. I was also feeling very tired and sad at times. I knew my levels were off so I went in for a blood test and they showed just what I was feeling. So, my levels are finally right, whew! :) I haven't had fast food/ fried food in two weeks now. I eat 5 times a day...but healthy food..like fresh fruit and vegetables. I feel so much better. Just today, we went to the Fort Worth zoo and Avery and I were skipping around...and it felt so great to feel good. Kenny and I have also been working out 5-6 times a week and going to bed at 10pm. All good things that make a huge difference. Many of you have been encouraging me lately and I really appreciate it. We are approaching this as a lifestyle change and not a diet.

Quote from Avery today as we were entering the zoo: "The best thing about the zoo today is that mommy didn't bring her camera." I had to agree...it is a lot more fun just living in the moment and not feeling pressure to capture it.

Birthday:
Avery is having her birthday party in Baton Rouge on May 16th at her Great Grandmothers house. Her theme this year is rainbows. She is already planning out the theme for next years party..gotta love a planner. Her invitations turned out really cute. I mailed them out this morning. I am also going to have a small party for her church and dance friends from here. Cupcakes in the Park...should be fun.

Beach:
We went to Seagrove Beach, Florida a couple of weeks ago for an entire week. We flew to BR and then drove to Florida. We stayed in the same house that we have gone to since 2005. The Hebert's were kind enough to lend us their expedition for the trip. Kenny had to stay home and work. It was great for me to be spoiled for a week with having so much help with the kids. The scariest part was when we lost Avery at the beach on Easter Sunday. She was playing in the sand about 10 ft from us. I turned my back to her to put sunscreen on Andrew...took 1 pic of him...and then looked around to find her and she was gone. Turns out she had gone back into the house to go to the bathroom. She said she couldnt find us. We were all right there...but it was so loud that day at the beach...very windy. The whole thing shook me up... But after all of that we really had a nice time. Special thanks to Mom and Steve for providing such an awesome trip for us.

Graduation Picture Visit:
The Hebert's came to the Big D for a short weekend trip. I took senior pictures for Jake..it was a lot of fun. We had a great time with some really great food..Mexican, BBQ and Hibachi!

"Pastor" Kenny:
Hehe..sounds funny huh? Kenny has enrolled for Summer and Fall seminary classes at DTS. I really enjoyed the break as he took this last semester off. He has gotten a lot of teaching experience this semester at church. Sitting in one of his classes I was amazed at how talented he really is. I am very proud of him!

Mister Andrew:
He is doing well. Growing, growing, growing! He is very good and has been a great addition to our family. Sometimes I look at him and I can't believe I have a girl AND a boy.

Teaching JOB:
No leads on a teaching job for me just yet....We sent out 20 resumes...so just waiting to hear something. I have my first certification test on Monday. Wish me luck!

Sooo, here are some snapshots from the last month or so.