idealism
1. The property of a person of having high ideals that are usually unrealizable or at odds with practical life.
2. (philosophy) An approach to philosophical inquiry which asserts that direct and immediate knowledge can only be had of ideas or mental pictures.
So I have been accused (and rightly so) of being uptight around Christmas time. I almost cringe and the memories of getting so stressed to have things just perfect for Christmas. The right pajamas..the perfect tree..gifts, plate for Santa's cookies, perfect wrapping paper, and let's not forget the perfect pictures...all in the name of having an ideal Christmas. This Christmas I was determined to do things better...and I did. Not sure where this whole idealism started but I am certain of one thing, it is a murderer of fun! Strong words, but oh so true. Where did I get the picture of what Christmas is supposed to be like? Who is the person that sets that standard for everyone? For me, (especially since I have moved away) Christmas is about people...family and friends together. All of the things listed previously are good and they make Christmas special but if they get in the way of people and my ability to enjoy myself with them..then I need to cut back on something. The truth is we LOVE to go to a beautifully adorned home and eat a lavish meal and receive thoughtful well wrapped gifts and capture perfect images of the whole event...but I am not there..not even close..so with this and so many areas of my life I hope to strike a balance. This year I probably swung too far to the left but it felt great to take the pressure off of myself to produce this 'ideal' Christmas...whatever that is, anyway.
Onto photography...I am afraid that some of this idealism is rooted in my photography addiction. The striving for the perfect picture to really capture the essence of your family, or event. No pressure or anything, huh? The absolutely crazy thing is the more that I let go of this self induced pressure the better (IMO) my photography has become. I also understand that if I hadn't striven through the last 5 years then I wouldn't be as far as I am with my photography skills...so I know that is important too..Once again..it's all about balance. Learning to not ruin the 'fun' in order to capture it. Being able to get enough decent pictures for a Christmas card without becoming a scrooge...add a few kids to the mix and it is so hard to not get uptight and frustrated. Isn't it? But the more I am that way..the faster things go down hill. So it is almost that I have to just determine to have fun and let the chips fall where they may. Who is it that I have to impress anyway? Who? Letting the imperfection be perfect is my desire...Striking a balance and letting go of my preconceived notions of the way way things 'should' be. Ahh, I love being 30. Wish it hadn't taken my so long to get here. Feel free to add your thoughts on this...here or email me. I am curious to see other perspectives on this. I have a feeling I am not alone in this struggle.
4 comments:
I appreciated this note tremendously! Its nice to see someone else feeling the same way. It's not that I don't want to go 'all out' for Christmas, I would just like to keep my sanity and actually be able to enjoy it for what it is meant for. Family and loved ones. Amen sister!
As for your photography, I am dying to see some of it :)
I can completely understand your feeings about striving to be "perfect"- I try to be the perfect duaghter/fiancee'/ worker, etc... But I can attest to your photography skills- they are extrememly close to perfection! :) Remember its not how perfect you are that matters- it's how much time you spend with the ones you love.
Your photography skills continue to amaze me! God has truly blessed you with a creative and artistic touch that very few have. It is neat to see how far you have come in these last few years, as your gifts have blossomed. I am very proud of you!
We did indeed have a great Christmas this year... I didn't find it stressful at all, and I could tell that you were truly enjoying yourself. We had fun... and you definitely got some great pictures in the process. Thanks for all you did to make it so special! I love you...
Thanks for all your comments! I love you guys!
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